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[st_arkravinghazelnut]

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[st_arkintern]

And you can't make crack jokes, either.

[st_arkravinghazelnut]

Promise.

[st_arkintern]

Liz and I went all the way.

[st_arkintern]

Don't worry, I used protection.

[st_arkravinghazelnut]

Well, well. How do you feel?

[st_arkintern]

I don't know, the same as before. I thought I'd feel different somehow, but I don't at all.

[st_arkravinghazelnut]

Far better with a lover than a bed warmer. Take it from me.

[st_arkintern]

I'm really glad it was with Liz. I never really wanted to sleep with anyone before until we started dating.

[st_arkravinghazelnut]

Looks like you don’t need my guidance.

[st_arkintern]

Yeah, I guess not, but I wanted to tell you because I'd want to tell my bio dad, too.

[st_arkravinghazelnut]

I’m here for all of it.

[st_arkintern]

You know, technically I got some of my sex education from Captain America. There were PSAs for everything.

[st_arkravinghazelnut]

Asked Cap if he felt proud. I think he does.

[st_arkintern]

Don't tell him, but I seriously started hating them after awhile. I got put in detention for skipping the Decathlon Nationals and I could only listen to about five seconds of it before I walked out.

[st_arkravinghazelnut]

That's my boy Well, just don't do it again.

[st_arkintern]

I don't usually get detention.

[st_arkravinghazelnut]

Good. I'm not above bringing Cap in to do a re-enactment.

[st_arkintern]

I think your son deserves better.

[st_arkravinghazelnut]

Fine. We can switch it up. I'll have Thor do it.

[st_arkintern]

I seriously can't see him giving PSAs.

[st_arkravinghazelnut]

He's fooled you into thinking he's the fun parent. Lectures are totally his thing.

[st_arkintern]

Thor lectures you?

[st_arkravinghazelnut]

It's an Avengers pastime.

[st_arkintern]

So everyone does it?

[st_arkravinghazelnut]

Especially when I get detention.