Perfectly Suited

[st_arkravinghazelnut]

Tony Stark was too old to play games. Every time he ran hot and cold with his partner was never a calculated power play so much as a deeply embedded habit built around mitigating whatever anxiety he’d built up. Even the old days full of ninja crawling out of bed just to avoid the morning after spiel were motivated by the intimidation (in part) of having them at all.

He’d gotten better at that part, though. Far better. Tony was curled up on the side of the long-suffering pink couch that wasn’t bearing a warped arm rest caused by some make-up rapporto sessuale from earlier in the evening, followed by a shower and the ceremonial poptart.

“You know—“ Tony brushed off some crumbs from his dark sweater, “You are terrible for my diet.”

Comments

[st_ormbreaker]

Thor watches as Tony doesn't quite eat his food and wonders how he can possibly exhibit that much self control. It took two minutes for Thor to wolf down just as many Pop Tarts.

"Peter and Valkyrie, obviously. Jane, Clarice, Corbie, Quill." A beat, and then:

"Are Alec and Rogers okay?"

[st_arkravinghazelnut]

"Yes. And yes." Tony shrugged. He didn't have it in him to stick to some kind of script about this affair when they were clearly going to make it up as they went along. "I'd add Liz, Annie, Kitty, and Xavin on my end." There had certainly been other friendly faces during his stay, but those accounted for the ongoing ones.

"I mean...I'm not exactly feeling exclusivity, either." Tony rubbed the back of his neck, getting at some lingering tension. "Frame it as an open thing, maybe. Whoever wants to opt in for some easy eats can. The people we know would stick around for the ceremony anyway."

[st_ormbreaker]

"When were we looking to do this?" Thor asks at the mention of easy eats. "I need to find a goat before then. Pretty sure I saw some over by the mountains the last time I was out that way, but it's been awhile since I've been out there."

[st_arkravinghazelnut]

Tony gave Thor a blank look before it hit.

"No."

[st_ormbreaker]

Thor's confusing is palpable.

"You don't like goat?"

[st_arkravinghazelnut]

Tony freed his legs from his sweater, laying them over Thor's lap authoritatively. "I'd prefer the ceremony be light on animal sacrifice."

[st_ormbreaker]

"How about just for eating later?"

It's at least worth a shot, right? He was willing to give up the ritual goat slaughtering, but it would be nice to have goat to feast upon.

[st_arkravinghazelnut]

“As long as you don’t process it in front of the guests.” Tony prodded Thor in the cheek with his clothed toe.

[st_ormbreaker]

Thor reaches for Tony's toes and gives them a squeeze.

"I think I can agree to that," he says, setting Tony's socked foot free. "There's still the issue of the swords, though..."

[st_arkravinghazelnut]

"Please, go on." Tony lifted his foot again, laying his ankle over the back of Thor's neck.

[st_ormbreaker]

"Normally, you'd have to go into the grave of one of your ancestors and retrieve a sworwd that had been buried with them, but that's not really an option here."

Here as in "here at the inn", but also here as in "in this particular situation". Even if they weren't trapped here, Thor somehow doubted that his father had been buried with a sword for this particular purpose. And with Asgard gone, he couldn't exactly retrieve a weapon from Bor's grave for this purpose.

"Normally, you'd wear it during the ceremony, then gift it to your partner. There's this whole wring ceremony, too, where you have the rings balanced on the hilt of the sword." Thor waves a hand. "All standard stuff. The best part of the sword thing is when they stab the ceiling."

[st_arkravinghazelnut]

Tony rolled his heel over the back of Thor's shoulders as he spoke, oddly fascinated by the explanation. It was certainly expected.

"If you want to stab the architecture I'll look the other way."

[st_ormbreaker]

Thor shifts his shoulder, using Tony's heel as a scratcher to get at an itch.

"You sure you don't want to do it? It may be your only opportunity to stab a ceiling legitimately."

[st_arkravinghazelnut]

Tony followed Thor's bodily cues, moving his leg a little more vigorously to get hit the right spot. "We'll stab the ceiling together. How's that?"

[st_ormbreaker]

"Mmm," Thor says in affirmation as Tony's heel does indeed hit the right spot. "The further the sword sinks into the ceiling, the more enduring the union," he informs Tony.

[st_arkravinghazelnut]

"Does it count if I'm marrying man who can bench press a semi in his sleep?" Tony ran the side of his foot along the larger man's spine, sneaking it under his shirt.

[st_ormbreaker]

"That depends," Thor says with a smile. "Is that man the Strongest Avenger?"

[st_arkravinghazelnut]

"We've been over this, babe." Tony ran the sole of his foot over Thor's ribs insistently. "I don't care about where you rank."

[st_ormbreaker]

"He called me baby arms," Thor says, pointing at Tony. "So it does matter."

[st_arkravinghazelnut]

"I'm not feeling juvenile enough to have the talk about size." Tony maneuvered his leg to push Thor's petulant hand down with his foot. "I'm not marrying Hulk's arms, I'm marrying yours."

[st_ormbreaker]

"Any arms would seem small compared to his," Thor says, apparently unwilling to let the topic go easily. "I acquired a lot of names while I was in Sakaar and I hated most of them. I'd take Point Break any day over Sparkles."

[st_arkravinghazelnut]

"Thor...~" Tony sang softly, nodding for him to scoot closer.

[st_ormbreaker]

"Hm?"

Thor complies, lifting Tony's legs so he can slide further beneath them.

[st_arkravinghazelnut]

As Thor drew closer, Tony's legs slid down to hug his waist and his hands indulgently cupped the curving musculature of Thor's arms.

"Never have I known a finer pair of biceps than those that sit upon my tender beautiful cavalier."

[st_ormbreaker]

Thor grins with pride.

"I," he declares with his usual bombast, "have never had a cuter boyfriend, and I have had many."

And then, before Tony can protest, he quickly adds:

"Or handsome. You are handsome, too."