Lunch Date With Disaster

[st_arkravinghazelnut]

"Did you partake? When you were in New York." Tony spoke up from across the infirmary desk, having been mostly occupied with his own journal. "Food, that is. Not wanton mayhem."

True to his cavalier word, Tony had been consistent with his follow ups for part-medical/part-cosmetic/entirely-snoopy visits with Loki, who was still repaying his debts to society. They ended up settling on lunchtime (or breakfast in Tony's case, depending on what he got up to the night before) to do the "procedure" and "enjoy" an "amiable" back and forth. Today had been rather unremarkable--a few jabs, but a lot of quiet time in between.

Maybe it was desensitization to Loki's presence, but Tony's countenance was unremarkable. Vigilant, but passively so. In an odd way, the trickster's focus on his work had a mirroring effect that prompted Tony to focus on his own. None of that excepted some "polite" conversation, however, especially over food. Pleasing Thor had become a priority, whether he wanted to put it that way or not. Consuming genuine sustenance and playing nice with the little brother simultaneously was just efficiently used time.

Comments

[st_arkravinghazelnut]

"You could do something pretty crazy with a smile as nice as that." Tony shrugged, finding his usual seat at the counter. A face-to-face exchange in an enclosed booth wasn't even a scenario that Tony wanted to force.

"Like make me believe we're actually friends."

[st_ratagem]

The smile turned somewhat pitying for a moment, behind Stark’s back, then Loki took the seat next to him. “So easy! Sadly, I don’t do ‘friends’. I never have.”

[st_arkravinghazelnut]

"But you'll do adoptions." 'In more than one sense.' Today was a practice in keeping certain remarks to himself.

"You got me hook, line, and sinker with that one."

[st_ratagem]

“People generally believe what they see.” Loki shrugged slightly, then offered, “I wanted to keep an eye on my brother, but he’d have spotted me.” And had, instantly. “You were a good vantage point. I put in the effort.”

[st_arkravinghazelnut]

"You made a decent cat. Infuriating, but cute enough that I didn't bag you up and toss you in a river. Gave just enough affection to lead me on a string." Tony flipped open the menu. Just ordering coffee and picking at a croissant wasn't enough.

"And zero of that was for anything other than practicality."

[st_ratagem]

“I’d have thought that would be a relief.” Surely being a means to an end was better than having to deal with fondness from someone you loathed?

[st_arkravinghazelnut]

"Was it?"

Tony slid the menu over, tapping the designated item for Loki to see. "This right here, Eggs Benny? New York creation. Wars have been waged over who masterminded its creation. Rumor has it that it was created by a stock broker looking for a hangover cure. 'Buttered toast, poached eggs, crisp bacon, and a hooker of hollandaise.' Mankind's glory, achieved after praying to the porcelain gods."

[st_ratagem]

“A relief? You’d know better than me.” More willful obtuseness, but explaining would take longer.

Loki looked at the menu, willing enough. “It seems like the kind of thing someone looking for a hangover cure would create, yes.”

[st_arkravinghazelnut]

"It wasn't." Tony flipped the menu closed, promptly putting in the order for the two of them.

[st_ratagem]

“You’d honestly rather I was fond of you?” Loki didn’t bother to hide the note of incredulity in his voice. It was nonsense.

[st_arkravinghazelnut]

"You say that like I should be worried about what that entails. I don't think there's any, I dunno, weird Asgardian affection rituals if Thor's anything to go by." Tony unconsciously rubbed at his shoulder. "Spine-crushing hugs aside."

[st_ratagem]

"He is enthusiastic." The best response to Stark, along the lines of ask my brother how well having my affection has worked for him was a non-starter on several levels.

But the spine-cracking hugs were a constant, at least whenever Thor forgot that was how thunder gods ended up stabbed. "No worry required. I'm just surprised."

[st_arkravinghazelnut]

"I'm trying to see what he sees." Tony was gazing at the god at his side. The scope of their situation was what many would call outside his realm of understanding as a human being, but if there was one thing Tony Stark did, it was buck limits.

"Marking me as relationship-material already says some unfortunate things about his judgement, but I'm keeping an open mind."

[st_ratagem]

"If you figure it out, do tell me." Stark's animosity made much more sense than Thor's endless flow of affection and second-and-on chances. Loki loved his brother and always had; Thor might have been the only person he'd be able to say that about without hedging.

But that didn't mean he understood it or knew what Thor saw. At all.

[st_arkravinghazelnut]

"Well. Now that you're presumably out of your world-domination little phase, you are kind of charming. In an off-beat, weaselly, cauldron-brewing way." Tony was thinking out loud, sipping down the ice water that had been just pushed their way.

[st_ratagem]

"I thank you." It wasn't worth pointing out that potions and such were rarely part of Loki's modus operandi, that part felt more like internal consistency to other remarks from Stark. Which had not been complimentary, so much. That was fine, Loki was at home with barbs. "I am in fact one for two on world domination, so I wouldn't say the phase is over so much as advanced."

[st_arkravinghazelnut]

'Then you die saving your big brother's life.' Tony crunched on an ice cube. That secret still didn't bring him the pleasure he thought it would. Or any at all. He kept his eyes forward.

"Where do I fit into your scheme? Not the world conquering one. Your fishbowl prison scheme."

[st_ratagem]

"You don't." Loki didn't bother to gesture, but his water turned into a cup of tea. "I'd honestly assumed we'd each pretend the other didn't exist."

[st_arkravinghazelnut]

"Yeah, that wouldn't have worked for me." Tony mimicked a beat with his palms tapping the table.

[st_ratagem]

"Clearly." Loki sipped his tea. "In that case, I'll tell you what I told Thor. Whatever he wants from me, whoever he thinks his puppy eyes will turn me into? I'm not, and it won't. The whole 'honest, noble, forthright' thing? Utter garbage." Another sip of tea. "I'm sure you're already aware of all of that, of course."

[st_arkravinghazelnut]

"Aware? Yeah. Convinced? Eh." Craning his neck, Tony tried to see past the double doors into the kitchen before casting a brief smile at the man beside him.

[st_ratagem]

"Good! Now you can't say I didn't warn you." Not that people generally complained about not being warned, of course. Mostly they just wondered why they hadn't dealt with him earlier.

[st_arkravinghazelnut]

"So that's it?" Tony asked, raising an eyebrow. "You're gonna prove me right. Just like that."

[st_ratagem]

"Just like that." And if it could be done with a conversation, so easily and without any particular action, there had been virtually no chance of the reverse option in the first place. Not that that came as any particular surprise. "I don't care about your opinion, Stark. I'll do as I please without reference to it and without losing any sleep." Within the boundaries of what he'd already promised Thor, but there was no need to hedge, here.

[st_arkravinghazelnut]

"Huh." Tony cast one more sideways glance at Loki. The smell of food was permeating the air.

"Sounds...pretty miserable."