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[st_arkravinghazelnut]

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[st_arkintern]

I doubt it. One of my classmates thought Spider-Man could be "like 30 or something" and another thought I might be "seriously burned".

Hard for girls to want to marry or... f... a guy they don't know anything about.

[st_arkravinghazelnut]

There's a niche for every market.

[st_arkintern]

The market for Spider-Man is pretty small.

[st_arkravinghazelnut]

Lot of room for growth. That's why I'm investing.

[st_arkintern]

Well, I already have at least one person who I possibly end up married to and another that things are pretty serious with.

I never really thought that was going to happen.

[st_arkravinghazelnut]

I'm not gonna have to warn you about the dangers of reckless web slinging, am I?

[st_arkintern]

I know how to use a condom, Dad.

[st_arkravinghazelnut]

Good.

Next up: making The Tender Knob. It's a nice autumn drink.

[st_arkintern]

I really don't know what to say to that drink name.

[st_arkravinghazelnut]

Maybe the Mountain Dew Me suits your fancy more.

Or the Dirty Orgasm.

[st_arkintern]

No and no.

[st_arkravinghazelnut]

Sex With An Alligator?

[st_arkintern]

Okay, now you're making fun of me.

[st_arkravinghazelnut]

Coconut rum, melon liquor, pineapple juice, raspberry liquor, and Jagermeister. It'll rot your teeth off.

What's your preference? Beer? Straight spirits? Wine?

[st_arkintern]

I don't really have a preference. It's not like I'm drinking all the time.

[st_arkravinghazelnut]

With that spidey metabolism I'm sure you wouldn't get light on your feet.

[st_arkintern]

I did once, but it took a lot.

[st_arkravinghazelnut]

Well, we'll discover that together.

The preference. Not the upper limits. I don't condone binge drinking.

[st_arkintern]

Anymore.

[st_arkravinghazelnut]

Indeed.

[st_arkintern]

Can you really pee in the Iron Man suit?

The news always uses this embarrassing photo of me leaving a Porta Potty. I wish I could just take photos of myself so they'd stop using that picture.

[st_arkravinghazelnut]

We don't talk about that.

[st_arkintern]

I've done stupid things as Spider-Man, too.

[st_arkintern]

You remember that night you fished me out of the lake?

Ned told everyone that I knew Spider-Man during gym class one day and this guy, Flash, said that I should invite Spider-Man to Liz's party.

[st_arkintern]

I was really ticked off at Ned for saying that because everyone already gave me a hard time over the meeting Iron Man thing.