Run Before You Can Walk

[st_arkravinghazelnut]

~~

“They should call you God of Miserliness.” Tony piped up the very second he and Thor were left to their own devices by Maria Hill and company, gesturing after them. “See? They’re going where the party is. I’m gonna follow.” From the moment Thor mentioned smuggling some brew aged for god knows how long from god knows where made from god knows what...JUST to rub it in Tony Stark’s face that he didn’t possess the mettle for it, but Steve Rogers did?

Unforgivable. He could forgive the remarks about Pepper due to how laughably and pathetically misinformed they were, but holding out on the host was just an utter insult.

Comments

[st_ormbreaker]

Thor sets his can next to Tony's, then presses his face against the back of his husband's head, burying his nose in Tony's wavy locks. "I know you're serious," he mumbles into the back of his head.

[st_arkravinghazelnut]

He settled in, tilting his head back to regard Thor’s chin. “A bit of trust.”

Tony wasn’t at all oblivious to the way more than a few residents regarded his husband, but he took it as a point of pride. Not everyone had that attitude (Pepper certainly didn’t) but there were moments where Tony didn’t know whether to be flattered or to self-reflect on what kind of message he was sending his husband.

[st_ormbreaker]

Thor untangles himself from Tony's hair, leaning his head back over the edge of the tub so he can look at the ceiling.

"I trust you," he says. He does. "You don't understand because you haven't been on the other side of Tony Stark."

[st_arkravinghazelnut]

“Ouch.” Tony took a slow chug off his can. “But fair.”

[st_ormbreaker]

"It's not like that," Thor says. "You just have this magnetism about you that just draws everyone in." Tony can't very well be under his own influence to know what that feels like.

[st_arkravinghazelnut]

“And you don’t?” Tony’s lips were drawn in a flat line, swishing the popping liquid around in the aluminum. “Look, I know I’ve still got it, but I’m a middle aged dad with hyperopia. I don’t know whose panties or pantalones I’m melting around here when there’s you and Rogers to compete with.”

[st_ormbreaker]

"A handsome middle-aged dad with hyperopia," Thor says. Maybe the hyperopia was the reason why Tony couldn't seem to see what was right in front of him. "The hyperopia and the age and the good looks don't really matter here. You just have this thing that most people don't have that pulls everyone towards you. If you hadn't been there at the beginning -- if it'd just been me and everyone else, I doubt there would ever have been the Avengers."

Sure, maybe they would have worked together to stop Loki, but Thor doubts somehow that they all would have wound up a team.

[st_arkravinghazelnut]

“As far as I know, none of you were trying to sleep with me in the meanwhile.” Tony leaned well out of tub, twirling his finger to select a small bottle of clear wine.

[st_ormbreaker]

"It doesn't always need to be about sleeping with someone, you know," Thor protests, reaching for his can. "Though if you and Pepper hadn't been together, I would have thought you and Banner were sleeping together."

[st_arkravinghazelnut]

Out came the wine straight through the nose before Tony could even judge it, the projectile beadlets popping a few pink bubbles.

“Ah—“ Tony slammed the glass down, rubbing his face. “Hwhat?”

[st_ormbreaker]

Thor squints down at Tony, perplexed that Tony hadn't noticed it.

"You two were always spending time together. Sometimes I'd go into the lab and the two of you would be working inches apart." Thor scissors his fingers together in demonstration. "And that lab was enormous."

[st_arkravinghazelnut]

The sting of the proof faded, though the fruity stench lingered where Tony couldn’t rid himself of it. He fell back with a huff, though it was somewhat...contemplative.

“...Well. Maybe.”

[st_ormbreaker]

"You and him, going off in your sports car. Bruce would have done basically anything you asked him to." And had, when he got wrapped up in the Ultron thing.

Thor finishes off his drink and stretches his arm to set the empty can down on the floor of their bathroom with a hollow metal sound, then settles back down in the tub.

[st_arkravinghazelnut]

Tony chuckled good naturedly, running his palm along Thor’s raised inner thigh. “Then his personal wardrobe fund and the private beach excursion with the hot yoga.”

[st_ormbreaker]

"He wore your clothes on Sakaar, you know," Thor continues, good-naturedly. "Complained about you wearing your pants too tight."

[st_arkravinghazelnut]

“Is this you warming me up for a Menage à Trois?” Slowly, Tony took a sip of the wine, once he was sure it had evacuated his nasal passages.

[st_ormbreaker]

"I'm providing evidence," Thor says, reaching for Tony's glass of wine. He doesn't pull the glass from his hand, he just makes a gimme gesture with his fingers. "Since you have a hard time seeing what's there in front of you."

[st_arkravinghazelnut]

“Oh I see what’s going on, alright.” Tony passed the glass off, pinching the skin beneath his fingers. “That wasn’t a no.”

[st_ormbreaker]

"Bruce only ever had eyes for you anyway," Thor says. He downs the rest of the glass, briefly deliberates handing it back to Tony, but remembers what he said about being handed things and sets it down on the rim of the tub instead. "He isn't even here, so a ménage à trois is outside of the realm of possibility anyway."

[st_arkravinghazelnut]

"In all seriousness, doubt it. His heart was паук shaped, if you catch my drift." Tony slid the glass back into his grip.

[st_ormbreaker]

"I have no idea what you're talking about." Thor shifts his hands back into Tony's hair, massaging his fingers over his scalp.

[st_arkravinghazelnut]

"I swore he was gonna elope with Natasha towards the end, there. ...Before he chartered himself a one-way flight off earth, anyway." Tony heaved a great sigh. Bruce wasn't allowed near the quinjets for the rest of his life.

[st_ormbreaker]

Ah.

"Well, I found him and he's back now," Thor says. He leans down to press a kiss against the nape of Tony's neck, "But I don't know if marriage is in the cards for them now. Two years is a really long time for humans."

Something Thor knows from experience.

[st_arkravinghazelnut]

"Then you've got your in." Tony's lips quirked before his expression went blank, finishing off the small bottle. When Thor's lips lingered, he brought himself back to the present and squirmed sideways, returning the gesture with a kiss to his temple.

"Thanks."

[st_ormbreaker]

"What?"

Thor doesn't quite snap out of his confusion until Tony kisses his temple, and then he finds he's confused all over again.

"For what?"